Are we deluding ourselves? Or have we spent too many hours in front of the electronic babysitter watching Ross and Rachel? To the extent that we’ve gotten a misguided ideal of what friends really are? The idea of your closest friends being there for you all the time may be archaic with the invasion of social media in our world.
Think about it, we saw Monica, Chandler and Joey spend all their time sitting in a coffee shop and chatting. Hours of small talk, days of putting the world to rights and obsessing over the latest significant other to join the group for a brief spell. Has this idea ruined us for the reality of friendships? Can we really expect our friends to be “there for you” the way the FRIENDS theme song chants?
The idea of Rachel and Monica remaining bffs since high school baffles me if I’m honest? Yes I stay in touch with friends from school but unfortunately I don’t get to see them all day every day to sit in Imsomnia and sip on hipster frothy chino drinks with chocolate and unicorn sprinkles. By the time I get to catch up with these school and college friends we’re doing well to have a quick chat about what’s going on in our lives and don’t get to discuss the real issues facing us, the small talk.
How many friends have you lost touch with? Or lost by being fazed out? It’s not just FRIENDS that I can pin point, take a look at my other favourite “How I Met Your Mother”. The leading characters spend most of every episode in their local bar, discussing their love lives, work, school and what to eat. Don’t these people have to go work? Or are they like me and just talk about something without ever actually doing it?
My fear is that these shows are giving us unrealistic expectations and as a result we drop friends who we think don’t fit in with our ideas of what friends are. So unless you can devote every night to sitting in my local bar with me, drinking fancy drinks with swirly straws and pink umbrellas, then I have to interest in you. How can this be right?
Let me take you back a few years, I was friends aka BFFs with a girl who loved coffee dates, going dancing and making small talk along side the big life changing talks. It was a match made in heaven, we had similar tastes, ideas and loved to dance while indulging in those up market Sex in the City drinks (don’t get me started on that portrayal of friendship). Everything was perfect, we saw each other all the time, she was the ying to my yang, the vodka to my diet coke, the chips to my curry and cheese. Until I had to work further away and was only around at weekends for tea, Bulmers and chit chat. It wasn’t a subtle change, it was sudden, like a bull in a china shop. She stopped answering calls and texts, arranged to catch up an cancelled last minute, wasn’t interested in foamy coffee drinks. Once I found out and actually told her I was pregnant she lost all interest, The last time I actually spoke to her was the skype call,
“Oh my God, you really do have a bump, you won’t be any good for dancing and wingman duties”
Yes I am better off now with real friends in my life. But the FRIENDS like approach to friendship we had was everything to me at that time. We were young, I was naive. It seemed so perfect, just like what I saw on TV growing up, the model friendship I’d craved my whole life (pause for dramatic affect) it wasn’t real. I know that now.
Honestly, I think friendship is very different to how we see it on tv, real friends can go months without seeing each other and just start chatting as though no time has passed. Real friends really are there for you if you call in the middle of the night requiring help to bury that dead body*.
The friends you’ve known the longest aren’t always the ones you can call on either. Sometimes, it’s the newest buddies that are there when something goes wrong. They’re the ones who do coffee dates and buy the next round of Strawberry Daquiris, the ones who text every day to see how the bad the nappys are.
What I’ trying to tell you is that us Broke Mommas are the kind of friends that Pheobe and co would be jealous of, we do coffee, we do bars, we do dinner, we put the world to rights over ice cream, we shop, we talk nonsense, we have toddlers that allow us to act like over sized well toddlers and better yet, we’re the kind of F.R.I.E.N.D.S that I think Marshell, Ted and Barney (How I Met Your Mother for those uneducated) would be proud of. We’ll be here for you, sharing our adventures and no doubt getting into trouble along the way!
Footnote: *figure of speech, obviously, please don’t dig up my garden.